Last night I did some writing - mixed in with some Portlandia watching on Netflix, but still. When I decide to write, I dig up an old notebook that's been around since 2002. It was a notebook I carried in high school and scribbled in whenever I had something to scribble about. Before adding to it last night I flipped back through.
Wow. A lot of it sucks.
I mean, real shit, man.
But that's okay. I'm sure a lot of what I'm creating now sucks too. What I wrote last night might. It's interesting - this book. I don't often look back on things unless I'm trying to find out how or why I should move forward. What I notice in here is a mix of things. Lots of angst & anxiety first and foremost. That's still a big part of me, but in the last 8-9 years I've learned to better harness those feelings or a least discovered other outlets - running, wine, more open conversation about them than before.
I also notice a slew of concepts. I have used this book to test out creative ideas & in many cases formats. There's poetry, short fiction, stream-of-consciousness, storyboarding, screenplay or script writing, sketching and more. All of these formats exist in this book, but as a whole none of them is refined, none of them very good, or at least not complete.
I spent time experimenting, and now that I'm armed with knowing what happens in the gap, eventually abandoned all of those as a focus. I still experiment with content production, but my mediums have changed and are almost 100% digital.
I notice a final theme to the crap in here - storytelling. I have always liked telling stories. Some of my favorite pieces in here are short stories. I've never planned stories in advance. They've always just happened. I begin to write when I have something to write about and stop when I no longer do. It's sort of like archaeology or history to me. I'm just uncovering something that's already there & putting my spin on it.
This last part is why I looked back last night. It's why I'm moving forward. I need to tell stories. I need to tell other people's stories. It's that idea that's at the heart of a new creative project of mine, which I hope will be public in the first half of 2013 after a few years in the incubator. That project is daily growing into something bigger and cooler and more collaborative than I expected, and is happening very, very quickly.
I won't divulge much. Some of you already know. What I will say is that no matter what form this project takes, how quickly it spreads (hint), the heart of it is me wanting to tell others' stories & to hear new stories not told by famous authors but by those around me.
To Be Continued (someday)...